Saturday, January 28, 2012

Letting Go...




Letting go must just be a life lesson.  So many things get bottled up, and really we just need to breath and let go.  And this is true for this long cardboard painting I made in early fall called Live a Colorful Life. Right after I made it, and posted in on FB, I was asked by an old friend from years back, if I was selling it.  Immediately I said no.  I just couldn't let go of this, but in reality she has a great home for it.  She just opened her own Montessori school, and how wonderful that she would like to make it a home there with her students.  So, I told her I would  make her a painting, but I never did.  This painting just rests on its side in my room.  It has never had a true home.  My husband asked what was to become of it, and I just said I didn't know and that I keep wondering if it is meant for that school.  He said it must be.  So, I am shipping it off as a gift, for an old friend with a perfect home.

Sometimes I wonder if I was holding on to this happy place in this painting.  I don't feel happy often.  I don't really talk about it much, but in all honesty, my days are dark.  I feel dark. I struggle and struggle raising these girls, and I just know I am not all that good at it.  I love them, and I want to give them a life like in this picture, but I am not like this painting.  It is so idealistic though.  A dream.  (ok, I will add, it really has just been a bad dark week.  I don't think I feel this bad that often.  I am really just writing from where I am at right this moment, this week.)

I was told recently that I do seem to paint in lots of color and lots of pink.  How odd really.  My walls are burgundy, I wear tons of dark clothes... but color does come out all over my life.

So in the dark, I see bursts of color, and in the struggles of Aspergers, needs, tantrums, noise, and need need need, color still shines through.


14 comments:

  1. It's a lovely painting and a beautiful gift!

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  2. The colors!!! Wow I love this so much and what a special gift...and speaking of gifts, you really have an artistic one, so happy I found you :) I always enjoy your paintings!

    ~Scarlett

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  3. Your painting is truly beautiful Daniele... it does look like a happy place... lots of gorgeous color... and it is so lovely that you are gifting it to your friend... and perhaps for the moment, it is in your art where your color shines through... even when days are not the brightest...

    Hugs
    Jenny x

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  4. My friend..we are peas in a pod...i am the same...feel dark all the time...but i a a good faker ...the dark clothes dark thoughts dark life...but my art bursts colour too...tho i have never really thought it like that...maybe that'd why i art so colourful...to escape...but i am a good actress...bit many people know how i feel...and...do not underestimate your ability to raise your girls...people who have medical issues to deal with in their family have yo do things a little differently...your girls will all be the better for it..yes we my not joke and laugh a whole lot with them but they'll get that somewhere else...hubby eachother ...wo what we can and honestly...my big kids grew uo this way and they retreat kids...yours will be too...and guvr yourself a whoop because it is tough bringing uo kufs with more needs than others...xxx

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  5. Blooming phone typing...great kids not rxxxetreat...and..bringing up kids with...

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    1. YOu're so funny! THanks Mandy. I know you comment from your phone, so no worries. I can usually figure it out!!!

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  6. very good points, Daniele. I think all of us who are forced to see life often through the eyes of Autism feel very dark at times. This is not to say that Autism is the end of the world--by all means, no, but when our kids hurt, so too do we.

    As I looked at your beautiful painting, the first thing that popped into my head is that you should submit some of your art to publishing companies that specialize in childrens' literature. I think you'd be an award winning artist for sure.

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    1. Thanks Karen,

      Luckily, the Asperger stuff has not been an issue lately, and my daughter is doing amazingly well. I think age helps so much. She gets easier by the year! Honestly, I struggle with life with a young one, and all those challenges!

      Thanks for your comment on my art. You're super duper sweetness!, and I love your junk!!!

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  7. I think your art is stunning! I love that you are sending it to a place where it will be admired and viewed. How fitting your friend found you,it seems meant to be!

    You remind me of something I wrote, awhile ago. I had a health incident, that changed my life, my world. I was medevacced off an island Alaska.

    "Alaska taught me to endure long days of darkness, enjoy the breathtaking colors of the Northern Lights and how to cope as the sun slowly began to peek over the horizon."
    I'm sorry you are struggling. Art does save us, it helps our soul cope!

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    1. This is such a beautiful reply. Thank you so very very much!

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  8. yes! letting go must just be a life lesson. lovely painting. =]

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  9. Awe, my sweet friend. Love you. xoxoxo

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Hey you!!!